Beautiful
by Needaflashlight
Summary: Casey is in a severe rut and is forced to stay with Derek who's a famous director. As she attempts to put her life back together, she learns about the challenges and demons that exists in Derek's seemingly perfect life. A dark fanfic w/ an eventual Dasey.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first story on fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek, the song Reaching Out, or later the song Beautiful.

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_Lately I've been hard to reach_

_I've been too long on my own_

_Everyone has a private world_

_Where they can be alone_

_Are you calling me, are you trying to get through_

_Are you reaching out for, and I'm reaching out for you…_

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**Toronto Times**

**Derek Venturi Scores Another Blockbuster Hit…**

**By Bruce Marshall**

**2-Time Academy Award winning director: Derek Venturi strikes again with another sure-fire summer blockbuster. In what has been an already impressive career for the young director, Venturi arguably delivers his best work ever. **

**Venturi's new film, Stan, is a gripping tale based on the hit Eminem song from 2000. Okay I admit it. When I first heard the idea, I literally laughed out loud and figured that it would be Venturi's first flop. I mean after Venturi broke through with his documentary: Forward: Life as a college hockey star, made us laugh with, Klutzilla, and kept our adrenaline pumping Space Race, it seemed like he was overdue. Well Venturi haters (all 3 of you), you'll have to wait for next time.**

**Stan is a psychological thriller about an obsessed fan who constantly writes letters to his favorite artist, only to see is letters go unanswered. As we delve deeper, the audience slowly and disturbingly discover the demons present in Stan's life, which steadily multiply as the film progresses. As the film reaches the end, neither Stan nor the audience is quite sure what is real and what's just in Stan's head. **

**Stan has the raw emotion and brilliance of the song, but there's so much more to it. If it was only based on events in the song, we would be able to simply watch Shady's music video. However, Venturi takes Eminem's idea and cranks it up several notches…**

Honestly I can't read anymore. Lately it seems like everything is Derek this and Derek that! What am I saying, it's always been like that!

Ok calm down Casey, just calm down. This is not like the past in which all Derek had to do was smirk and he got everything he ever wanted. No, this is Derek. Derek really has worked hard and is a dedicated director. I should be happy for him. I am happy for him. I am happy for him.

I'm not upset at Derek. I'm really not. I'm just frustrated with my life now, and Derek's just an easy target I guess. No that's not the total truth. The truth is that I need a place to live, and Derek is the only one that I can plead to. I can't ask because she's is a graduate student in Vancouver, Edwin is a young business tycoon in the states, and Marti is about to start university. I especially can't go and live back with my mom and George after I fought so hard to live independent of them while I was university. Okay, not a good reason, but it'll be embarrassing. Even more embarrassing than begging for Derek's help and that's saying something.

You may ask: what happened to me? Well I graduated from Queens, top of my class by the way, with a double major in English and Biology (for medical school). I was then admitted into medical school. While studying to be doctor, I also held two jobs and did volunteer work twice a week. Yeah I liked torturing myself apparently. Let's just say after a couple years, I completely cracked and had a pretty severe nervous breakdown. I had to go for therapy. The university board was kind enough to grant me the time off, up to a semester after therapy was complete (I had worked closely with the head of the board, so he was able to pull some strings). However, after I finished therapy, I decided to take that semester off to clear my head. Unfortunately, a semester became two, which became four, and the next thing I knew, I am getting evicted for overdue rent. Plus I still have those student loans from med school (I did get a hefty scholarship, but it didn't cover everything). Why didn't I ever go back to school? I was scared, I suppose. No, I was terrified. The whole incident really damaged my psyche and I was petrified to return and risk having another breakdown. The Casey of old would be ashamed of the current Casey. The Casey of old wouldn't even recognize me. Heck, I barely recognize myself now when I look in the mirror.

Ok back to the whole Derek thing. He and I aren't exactly close. I mean we are, or actually were, relatively civil during family gathers (at least in comparison to when we were teenagers) and he always sends me Christmas and birthday gifts. Come to think of it, he did try to reach out for me during my darkest times, but I kind of pushed him away. But I haven't seen him in over 2, maybe even 3 years. It's amazing actually how little we see each other considering I only live on the other side of town from him (or at least when he's not busy filming).

So I am currently standing in front of Derek's home. Derek's large, beautiful home. A symbol of his perfect life.

Well I guess it's now or never. I ring the doorbell and some girl, no older than me opens the door.

"Hi, who are you?" she asks, rather confused.

"I'm Casey, Derek's stepsister", I say.

"Sure that's what they all say. At least come up with something original", she says.

Great, if this is Derek's latest girlfriend, he has really has reverted back to his old form, dating dumb blondes, with more cleavage than brains. Luckily I see a family picture hanging up right behind her.

"Hey who's in that picture over there?" I ask.

"I know your just trying to turn me around so you can sneak in, but it's a picture of Mr. Venturi's family", she. She then takes a glance at it and sees that I'm in the picture. She then does a double take, before sheepishly turning her attention back to me.

"As I said, I'm Derek's stepsister, Casey McDonald. Is Derek here?" I ask, rather irritated now.

"Come with me", she says with a fake smile plastered on her face. She leads me to what I assume is Derek's living room (or at least one of them).

"I'll go get Mr. Venturi, have a seat", she says.

She then scurries off to somewhere in the house. A couple minutes later, a familiar person enters the room. My stepbrother: Derek Venturi.

"Derek…" is all I am able to say.

"Hey Casey, long time no see", he says.

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**A/N: As I said, that was my first ever fanfiction chapter. When writing this chapter, I was listening to the Marshall Mathers LP and Stan came on, so that's the reason for the whole Stan movie thing.**

**I know Casey is OOC right now, but it's necessary for the story. **

**Also the title is tentative at the moment. It's based on a song that will be used in the story and is partial inspiration for it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey thanks for the support in the first chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek.**

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Wow, my stepbrother is standing right before me. Derek looks different from when I last saw him. His hair is longer than I've ever seen from him. I mean don't get me wrong, he pulls it off. It's just different. He also looks a bit tired. His eyes look tired. I guess things have been hectic with getting the movie ready for its release. Nothing that a vacation can't fix. Overall, he looks good though. Much more mature than the last time I saw him.

I feel almost nervous seeing him here. I guess it's not really him so much as the question I'm about to ask him. Well come on Casey, say something semi-intelligent. You were the smart one not too long ago.

"Hey Derek, how have you been?" I ask awkwardly.

"Fine I guess, just trying to enjoy my time off I guess", he says. I can tell that he's just as uncomfortable as I am. He has his hands in his pockets and is having a hard time maintaining eye contact (but better than me though).

"I heard that your new movie is great", I say, still trying to make small talk before I ask him.

"Yeah thanks. So what brings you here? You haven't been here…in like 3 years", he says.

He then takes a good look at me.

"Something's wrong and you need my help" he simply states. He wasn't sacastic, just straight to the point.

"Something like that", I say, unable to meet his gaze anymore.

"So what's up?" he asks, now showing some concern.

"So was that girl that greeted me at the door your new girlfriend?" I ask, clearly beating around the bush. Wow, I am such a coward. Derek saw right through me though.

"Casey, you didn't answer my question. What's wrong?" he asks, more firmly than before.

I really shouldn't beat around the bush when dealing with Derek. He's always been able to read me. At times, he knows me better than I know myself. Although lately, that's far from an impressive accomplishment.

"I need a place to stay", I mumble inaudibly, still not looking at him.

"I'm sorry Case, I didn't hear", he says.

"I need a place to stay", I say again only louder so he could hear.

"Oh", he says clearly surprised.

"Derek I understand if you don't want...I know you're a busy, important person...I just thought that maybe you could, possibly" I ramble afraid that once I stop he'll either start bursting out laughing or calling security.

"Casey it's fine. You can stay here", he simply says.

"That's it? That can't be it? There's always a catch! What's the catch?" I ask as I begin to freak out.

"Ah, some of the old Casey remains. You still freak out like always", he says flashing his trademark smirk. "You're welcome to stay here. You'll have to earn your keep in some way, but we'll worry about that later. Don't worry, I won't enslave you like I did with Edwin back in the day".

"BUT THERE HAS TO BE A CATCH!" I scream at him.

He looks at me seriously showing me that he's not kidding.

"Really, no catch. Just have to help out around here or something?" I ask.

"Yeah pretty much", he said. "So do you have your stuff with you or do you need to pick it up from your old place?"

"All my stuff is in my car", I answer. Yeah everything was in my beat-up metal death-trap that made Derek's old car, The Prince, look like a luxury sports car.

"Ok I'll go get it. Could you toss me your keys?" he asks. Derek offering to get my bags? That's a new one. However I tossed him my keys and he went out and got my bags. Who is this and where's my stepbrother?

Ok so that was easier than I thought it would be. I guess I never expect things to work out for me anymore and especially when they involve Derek. Ok that's really not fair. Derek isn't the same jerk that he was in high school. Those were the days in which every day was: Torture Casey Day or Prank Casey Day or something. Although, he did gradually become nicer to me and even helped out and stuck up for me a few times. We ended up going to the same university: Queens.

When we started university, Derek was still very much a self-centered jerk, who cared more about hockey, girls, food, and sleep more than anything else. His dream was to become a professional hockey player. Things were looking good for the first year. He received first-team honors as a freshman and led his team in scoring. However, early in our sophomore year, he seriously blew out his knee during the second game of the season. He had it surgically repaired and furiously rehabbed it. Unfortunately, he did too much too fast and ended up blowing it out again. When he finally returned to the ice, Derek was only a shell of his former self and was confined to the bench.

Film directing has always been another one of Derek's passions. In fact, he majored in film study. However, he never considered becoming a professional director until he realized that his dreams of playing professional hockey was nothing more than a pipedream after the injury. He really became serious about directing after the success first film, Forward: Life as a college hockey Star. Ironically, this movie came about from him just messing around with a camera during hockey practice and games. He would just follow around his teammates, the star forward in particular, and ask them silly (and occasionally serious) questions. He also taped all the games during his junior and senior year (because he rarely played, he needed to pass the time somehow). After getting tons of footage, he edited it and debuted it during the team's end of season banquet. It received a standing ovation. Present in the audience was Mark Young, a Queen's alumnus, former hockey star, and head of a respectable production company.

Mark and his staff was able to clean up Derek's good, but rough movie a bit and did an excellent marketing job. The movie went on to win a couple Indie movie awards in the documentary catagories. Forward: Life as a College Hockey Star, made Derek a decent amount of money, but more imortantly, got the attention of the big production companies in Hollywood.

He ended up directing one more movie with Mark Young as his producer called Feeding After Dark, a horror movie involving vampires. Despite it being a relatively small budget film, it performed well in the box-office and resulted in Hollywood produces nearly breaking down his door to hire him for their next movie. They all wanted the new up-and-coming director, whom some compared to a young Speilberg (although Derek hates that comparison).

Derek's first big budget film was one a project that didn't please me at first: Klutzilla. Then again I was overly sensitive at the time since it was released right after my breakdown (which Derek wasn't aware of at the time). It was a coming of age comedy about a high school girl who moves to a new school and has to overcome her klutzilla rep. This rep is established after an embarrassing incident in which she falls down the stairs in front of the football team and cheerleaders, and knocks over several other students. I wonder who that was based on? Anyhow, she does manage to overcome it, despite her less than graceful first impression, her keener rep that quickly develops also, and her not so rare freak-outs. Again, I wonder who that was based on? Despite the striking parallels between me and the main character, I enjoyed it because it had a strong message of being yourself and inner strength. The movie was actually very funny, but was deeper than what people gave it credit for.

I actually haven't seen the following movie: Space Race, but I've heard that's it's great. About a year after my breakdown, I was really in a dark place and didn't really keep up with anything, including Derek's projects. Unfortunately, I've never been able to leave that place, so I was actually unaware of the movie until recently.

"Casey", says Derek, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"I ask.

"Yeah, follow me. I'll show you your room", he says as he starts to head up the stairs.

I follow him into a large bedroom. It's way bigger than any bedroom I've ever seen before. It's very well docorated and puts the room I designed my senior year in high school to shame. It had a nice big bed, a large walk in closet, and it's own bathroom. If this is the room I get, I can't even image what Derek's looks like.

"You like it?" he asks.

"Yes, thank you Derek" I simply say.

"No problem. Oh by the way, the girl you met was Shannon. She's my personal assistant for the summer. She's a film student right now at UT. If you need something and I'm not available, she'll take care of you. She can be a bit annoying and seem pretty superficial at first, but you'll grow to like her. She kind of reminds me of Kendra a little bit, except I can fire her if she ever calls me Derbear" he says.

"Ok thanks again Derek. I'm exhausted and I think I'm just going to unpack and then hit the sack early", I say.

"Do you want me to bring you anything to eat?" he asks.

"No thanks" I answer.

He then wishes me a goodnight and leaves. I then unpack everything (which wasn't much) and get changed into my pajamas. I then get into the king-sized bed. I still wonder why Derek has been this nice to me. However, this thought soon became irrelevant. For the next several hours, my troubled thoughts and problems were non-existant. For the first time since I could remember, I slept well. Maybe my life's freefall is soon going to reverse. Maybe, just maybe.

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**Ok so when I first wrote this chapter, it went in a slightly different direction, but it was crap. So I decided to focus much of the chapter on Derek's past, so all the background is taken care of for a while and I can then start Casey's adventure living with Derek again on her road to redemption and discovery.**


	3. Chapter 3

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Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews so far.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the song Beautiful.

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I wake up to an unfamiliar room. Where the hell am I? Oh wait, I remember now, I'm at Derek's place. It's okay Casey, calm down. It's all going to be okay.

I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since the yesterday, before I arrived at Derek's. I wonder what he has to eat? Why am I asking that? Of course his kitchen is probably filled with nothing but junk food, junk food, and more junk food! I don't think Derek has ever even touched a vegetable, never mind eaten one. Oh well, I guess it's junk food or starve (at least until I can get to the store).

I walk downstairs and after wandering for a minute or so, I find the kitchen. When I get there I see Shannon sitting at the table, reading. So I guess she's here all the time? She looks up and immediately gets up. What's up with that?

"Morning Ms. McDonald. What would you like for breakfast?" asks Shannon. "We have seemingly every possible breakfast item known to man".

"Do you have oatmeal?" I ask. I haven't had oatmeal in a long time. It always cheers me up because it reminds me of the time that Derek and I dumped a bowl on George by mistake.

"Of course", she says as she proceeds to go make it.

"You can call me Casey. Being called Ms. McDonald makes me feel all uptight", I tell her.

"Sure Casey", she says as she is preparing my breakfast. "So are you the stepsister that Derek used to fight with constantly as a teenager?"

"Yeah, it was really bad at first, but it got better gradually I guess. After a few years, you could almost call us friends. We kind of lost contact over the last couple of years though", I answer honestly.

"Sorry about the whole thing when you arrived. Tons of people come here claiming to be family members of Derek. I've met the rest of your family, so I was skeptical when I didn't recognize you", she says. "You have no idea how many teenage girls try to get to Derek by pretending to be Marti".

She then places the oatmeal down in front of me and sits back down at the table.

"Thanks" I say. "If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been working for Derek?"

"This is my second summer. Last summer was so hectic because of he was filming, Stan, but I got a lot of great experience because of it. I mean, there's only so much you can learn in school. You only truly learn what you need by observing the real thing or actually doing it", she says.

Wow maybe she isn't as dumb as a post like I initially thought. It actually sounds like she might be decent to get to know.

"Enough about me, what's something interesting about you?" she asks.

Interesting? Well there was the whole mental breakdown thing, but that's not something you just blurt out to someone you just met. Think Casey think. There has to be something. Anything?

"Well...I am a former medical student and..." I start. Ok this is awkward. "I guess you can say I'm on a break right now". That's the truth...almost...sort of...

"Is that why you're here?" she asks.

"Yeah I suppose. I guess you can say that I really needed to step back and get away from my normal life...if you could call it that. I really needed a change in scenery, even if it is just temporary", I say.

No need to tell her any specifics (like the breakdown or eviction or anything).

"I see. Well I have to go out and pick up a couple things for Derek. Derek is somewhere around the house if you need him", she says.

"Ok, see you later I guess", I respond. She simply nods and walks out of the room.

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After I finish breakfast, I decide to go see what Derek is up to. I walk around his house until I finally see a room with a light on. I open the door and see Derek on what I assume is his bed playing a guitar. A very nice guitar might I add. Next to him, is a notebook. He looks up and sees me.

"Morning Space Case", he says playfully and I feel myself rolling my eyes.

Space Case, one of my many nicknames he's given me. It's a name that I secretly like being called by him, but it's something I'll never admit.

"Morning Derek", I respond. "What are you working on?"

"A new song for my next movie", he answers.

"I didn't know that you made music for your movies", I say a bit surprised. Seriously I didn't know. Maybe this is something new.

"I haven't in the past", he says. Ok, this is something new.

"It's just that, I feel like that all the movies I've made so far are only partially mine. I mean I've only directed the movies so far and I've only participated in the writing the script for Klutzilla. For my next movie, I really want to be responsible for nearly the entire thing from the script to the direction to the editing and to the music. Then I can say, it was truly mine", he says.

"Wow Derek, isn't that a lot to take on?" I ask. "I don't want to sound like a pessimist, but isn't that what got me in trouble?"

"Yeah it's a lot. However, I'm in no rush to do it either. I feel like I've accomplished enough that I don't have the urgent need to make another movie right away. Besides, although I am taking on a lot, it's not like I'm doing it alone. I have a lot of talented people around me to help out when necessary", he says.

"So what kind of movie are you thinking about?" I ask.

"I honestly don't know yet. That's why I am trying to start with a song. That's how my last movie came about. I heard the song, Stan, for the first time in like forever and suddenly I thought of bunch of things I could do for a movie version", he says.

"Any luck so far?" I ask.

"Not yet...not yet", he says. "So Space Case, I know didn't get to ask you yesterday, but what have you been up to lately?"

"Nothing really. Just working dead-end jobs and forgetting to pay the rent", I say. Honestly, that really sums up my life the past couple years. Really pathetic, I know. Pathetic basically defines my life right now.

"So why didn't you ever go back to school. I mean it's so unlike you to not finish something you started", he says.

He's right, the old Casey would always finish everything to the best of her abilities. But I'm not the old Casey. I don't know if the old Casey will ever return.

"I don't know Derek...I just don't. Ever since the whole incident, I haven't been myself. I don't know if I want to even be a doctor anymore, especially with all the stress that comes along with it. I really don't know what I want to be anymore. I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I don't know who or what I am anymore. Everything I used to believe in, I just don't know if I do anymore", say to him, completely in tears when I'm finished.

Surprisingly Derek didn't complain about the tears or demand that I stop. No, that was what Derek did in the past. Instead, he came over and put his arms around me. For some reason, I started feeling this churning in my stomach and I start feeling light headed.

"Derek, do you have any aspirin. I feel a headache coming", I say.

"Yeah sure. There should be some in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom", he says, pointing to the bathroom connected to his room. "I'll go get you a glass".

I then promptly go over and open up the medicine cabinet. To my surprise, there are a lot of bottles of aspirin. Derek did tell me years ago that filming season is stressful and he gets frequent headaches during that time. I guess he's making up for years of no stress growing up. I then grab one of the bottles and take out a couple tablets. He quickly returns with a glass of water which he hands to me and then returns to his room.

After I take the aspirin, I come out of the bathroom and into Derek's room again. Before I get a chance to go back to my room (or the room I staying in I guess is more accurate), Derek calls my name.

"Casey wait", he says. He then holds out what looks like a journal or something. "Here I know you've been through hell lately and I just thought that this may help. I know how much you used to write in your old diaries. I never told this to anyone and this never leaves this room but, I wrote a lot myself during my hockey injury. I really helped me get through, by giving me a chance to express things that I really couldn't to someone else because they wouldn't understand".

I then take it from him.

"Thanks Derek. Not to ruin a moment or anything, but why are you being so nice to me? I mean you are still Derek right?" I ask, sort of playfully.

"Casey I may have been a jerk to you in the past and probably will be in the future, but I don't like seeing you like this. Kicking you while you're down right now isn't very productive. Don't worry, once your spirits lift a bit, I'll be more than happy to mess with you a little. After all, I'm still Derek and your still Casey", he says as he flashes a smirk.

I then return to my room and immediately get to writing. Derek's right, writing has always been an outlet for me. I can't believe that it's something I've abandoned along with seemingly everything else. Maybe a poem might help me...

_i'm__ just so freaking depressed_

_i just cant seem to get out this slump_

_if i could just get over this hump_

_but i need something to pull me out this dump_

_i took my bruises took my lumps_

_fell down and tried to get back up_

_but i need that spark to get psyched back up_

_and in order for me to pick my life back up_

_i don't know how or why or when_

_i ended up this position i'm in_

_i'm__ started to feel distant again_

_so i decided just to pick this pen_

_up and try to make an attempt to vent_

_using poetry, an old friend, an old outlet_

Ugh! I can't think of any more to write. Fun topic huh? Not! Oh well, this is probably the most impressive thing I've done in years though. At least I know that I still have my poetry. Also, I haven't been bothered by a headache ever since I started. Wow two positives, that has to be a record for me. All thanks to Derek.

Oh my god, I didn't realize what time it was. That poem took longer than I realized. I'm feeling pretty hungry so I'm going to go get something to eat. I best put my diary away. I may want to show Derek this at some point, but not yet. For one, it's not ready and two it's not the cheeriest thing you'll ever read.

**Ok so there's chapter three. I hope everyone enjoyed it. I haven't decided completely about how much of a role Shannon is going to play in this story. And for anyone who has heard the song, Beautiful, you probably have noticed that I did modify the lyrics a little to fit Casey.**

**Other than that, please keep on reviewing.**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the wait, I just got finished finals this week.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the song Beautiful.**

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I woke up this morning a lot less confused than yesterday. After taking a shower and changing, I went downstairs for breakfast. Once I reached the kitchen, I found that Shannon was present again, but this time, so was Derek.

"Morning Space Case", he says. I feel myself rolling my eyes at him.

"Morning Derek. Morning Shannon", I say.

"Morning Casey", she says pleasantly. "I made French toast, if you want some".

"Sure", I answer. French toast sounds good.

Shannon then gets up and puts some on a plate and then places it in front of me. I thank her, she smiles at me, and then sits back down.

"So Case, do you have anything planned for tomorrow night?" asks Derek.

No. What a silly question. What could I possibly have planned? The only thing that is more pathetic than my academic failures is my recent social life. Heck what am I saying? What social life?

"No. Why?" I ask.

"Well tonight is the premiere for my new movie Stan and…" he starts.

"I really don't want to go to the premiere. I don't think I'll feel very comfortable in that setting and plus, isn't Stan kind of a scary movie?" I ask.

"It's a psychological thriller Space Case, not a horror movie", he says mocking me a bit. "Anyway, what I was going to ask if you want to head out to dinner with me tonight to celebrate?"

"Sure, but don't you go to your premiere?" I ask. Don't most directors attend their own movie premiere? Is it considered bad luck or something?

"Derek has never shown up to any of his movie premieres. He overslept and missed the first one and it was the most successful movie of the summer. So now, he has a tradition of missing them all. I'm going in his place", explains Shannon as her face lit up when she says that she gets to go.

"So you, me tonight for dinner?" asks Derek.

"Yeah sure. I haven't eaten out in forever", I say honestly. "Are we going somewhere expensive because I don't have any really nice clothes".

"Way ahead of you" says Derek, smirking at me. "Shannon is taking you to the mall so you can pick out something. She also needs a dress for the premiere".

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About an hour later, I found myself in a limo heading to the mall. To tell you the truth, I don't remember the last time I've been to the mall. I feel like I should be more excited than I actually am. However, my mind is completely on tonight and I'm feeling…anxious. I don't know why either, since it's just dinner with Derek.

"Excited about tomorrow night?" asks Shannon.

"Yeah, I haven't eaten out in decent place in a long time", I lie…well sort of. There is some excitement, just way more anxiety.

"Are you excited about the premiere?" I ask.

"Oh yeah! I get to hang out with the producers and the cast. Maybe even Eminem will show up, since his song did inspire the movie and I just love Eminem. He's one of my favorite artists of all time", she says.

"Sounds fun", I say, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. "So what's it like to work for Derek?"

"Honestly, it's great. I mean I've seen so much of the film process first hand and done so much more than any other director would allow. Plus Derek also gives me a lot of fun assignment like our mall expedition. I just enjoy working for him and he's sort of like a big brother to me now", she says.

Funny how Shannon sees Derek as an older brother, but I hardly see him as family. I'm not sure if I'll ever come to think of Derek as a brother. I know I've said some things to him in the past to suggest otherwise, but that was more me trying to convince myself. The truth is: I'm not sure what Derek and I are, but I know we aren't siblings.

After we got out of the limo, Shannon directed me to her favorite store to buy clothes. Shannon was able to find her dress pretty quickly. It was a black dress that looked absolutely gorgeous on her. My search was a little trickier, which is ironic since the only person that it's really for is Derek, while Shannon will be out in the public eye representing Derek in front of a ton of people. However, I tried on dress after dress, and nothing was acceptable for me.

Finally, Shannon found a blue dress that I absolutely loved. I tried it on and it was perfect. I looked in the mirror and for the first time, in what feels like forever, I felt beautiful.

Shannon then took the dresses to the cashier to pay for them (although I'm sure she charged to Derek's account) and we headed out.

* * *

The remainder of the day just dragged on. I spent most of it in my room trying to add to my poem (unsuccessfully might I add). I am having trouble concentrating because I'm still focused on dinner with Derek tomorrow. Why is it consumer all my thoughts? Why? Oh great I have a headache. I think I'm just going to take some aspirin and go to bed.

I go into the medicine cabinet and took a couple tablets from the opened aspirin bottle. As I put the bottle back, I accidentally knocked over another bottle, which was for painkillers. I guess I'm still a klutz. When I picked it up, I realized that it was empty. That's strange, but then again that's Derek for you. I can't tell you how many times he used to put back into the fridge empty juice cartons.

Before I go to bed, I go into Derek's room and find him already in bed. I promptly leave, to make sure I don't wake him up. It's amazing how I used to wish that Derek never entered my life when I was younger and yet it is because of him that I'm not homeless. It's funny how fate works.

I guess I better get to sleep. I feel like tomorrow is going to be very interesting.

* * *

**Not the most exciting chapter, but it sets up a couple things for future chapters. The next chapter will contain the first major Derek/Casey interaction.**

**Thanks for the reviews so far and please keep reviewing.**


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